How do I know if my therapist is right for me?
The therapeutic relationship you have with your therapist is a bit enigmatic if we really think about it. Here is a person who you know very little about, yet you sit in a room with them, and open up to them about things you perhaps haven’t even told you parents, friends, partner or children. And, within the confines of the four walls of the therapeutic space, you are supported to peel back your layers, and look inward toward things that you have perhaps been avoiding, running from, or even living in denial about.
That’s a whole lot of trust to put in someone whom you know very little about on a personal level! No wonder why therapy can be a daunting experience for first-timers.
That’s why it is important to find a therapist who is right for you. I honestly believe that the best therapeutic work isn’t achieved with the most experienced or “best” (however that may be defined for you) therapist. Instead, the best work happens through a strong, trusting, and healthy therapeutic relationship.
Just like any social interaction, sometimes you just click with some people more than others. Energy, and style of communication is important. But most of all, this should be someone who you feel safe enough to reveal the most vulnerable and protected parts of yourself.
Whilst everyone’s individual needs will vary, below are some general guidelines to what I believe are some essential ingredients to a good therapeutic fit.
Your therapist should:
have experience and the relevant skill set to help you with your concerns and issues
treat you with respect
make you feel accepted and never judged
have good boundaries in place for both you and themselves
remember important things you have disclosed to them
check in with you regularly, and you should feel comfortable telling them when things aren’t working or when you don’t understand something
make you feel comfortable talking to, crying in front of, laughing with, or simply sitting in silence with.
Sometimes it may take 1 or 2 of even a few goes before you find the right fit, and that’s completely okay. Don’t let that deny you of finding your healing space.
